Just Something Personal

I am truly so happy that what happened in the past happened because it made me who I am today. I'm so glad I gave my ex a chance and started dating him. After almost 6 years I finally gave him a chance. I changed so much when I was with him I changed for the worse though. But I believe if I didn't end up with him I would be headed down the wrong road right now. It's funny how even though he is far from being a Christian he brought me closer to God. Through everything we been through and we accomplished and failed at it made me who I am today. I am such a stronger Christian and a strong believer in God. If it wasn't for some decisions I made I do believe I would still be with him and living the life of a continuous sinner. I am not saying I am not a sinner anymore, because we all are. But I feel like I wouldn't have any type of relationship with God if I was still with him. My pregnancy really 'woke me up' in my religion. Ever since I got pregnant my rela...

With me working Monday through Friday and having weekends off, sometimes it can be rewarding and some times it can just suck. This weekend is going to such. I have to work my other job today, the mid shift, which means I only have about 2 more hours with my son until I have to leave. And I will be back home when he's asleep. :/ Maybe I can get home early so I can spend some time with him. Then tomorrow! Is church and I know he's going to be acting up and won't let me listen to the message. So ill probably sit with him in the nursery. Tomorrow will be my only day with him and I don't want to just put him in the nursery. On top of that next month I'm working every weekend. -_- Why can't we get paid to be single mothers?! Life would be so much rewarding. I'm having a really rough time with the fact that Kye is almost a year old and I should start him on solids. I don't want to give up the bond of breastfeeding. I don't want to have to limit it. If I...

Today was such a good day. I had off because of the holiday so I got to spend a weekday with my son! We woke up so early! 6:30. We cuddled in bed for a little until he was up and eventually feel bad to sleep. We went to a dealership today. I saw a very nice car I was really interested in. I walked out empty handed but that is ok because I know that God won't put me in a situation that I can't handle. Maybe financially right now he knows that I don't need something else to worry about. But once we got home we took a nap and the rest of the day we just acted silly and played around the house.  Today was a big jump in seeing how much I love this little boy and how happy he makes me. I see more and more how blessed I am to be this little boy's mother. There is really nothing better than having this child in my life. I love every second of it.  I am very blessed to have the job that I do, that allows me to be able to spend so much of my day with him plus my weekends....

After 7.5 months I decided it was time for me just to have a baby free night. As much as I didn't want to leave my son for the night I knew I deserved it. I made sure I didn't go out until an hour before he went to bed, so I didn't feel as guilty. I realized, no body can make me feel like I'm a bad parent for going out for just a night. I'm with my son everyday and if I want to just have time to my self every once in a blue moon, it's ok. It's not like I never see my son because I want to do other things, my son comes first in everything I do. So last night I went to see ET! I was so excited. That is one of my favorite movies and to see it in theaters was great! It was only one showing, not too late, since I have work this morning I knew I'd get home at a decent time. It was really nice to get out. I couldn't stop thinking about what my son was doing (even though I knew he was just sleeping) I did enjoy myself though. I probably won't go out wit...