I Guess I Got What I Wanted

But this doesn't feel the same. It's obvious that I want what is in the past and is gone. I will never get that back. I don't know why I thought that it would be the exact same. What is in the past is gone and will never return. I think I have a hard time understanding that and really excepting it. I do feel better that I got to say what I wanted to say for such a long time now. It made me feel better that the feelings were kind of mutual. But I kind of disappointed myself in all of this because you are the exact same way you felt. I don't think I'll ever fully except the fact that what I miss is in the past. I just wish you would be that same person that you were before I got pregnant. 
In one way I do feel better that I have that one person back to talk to whenever I need to talk to some one.
I just hope this Friday when I start a new bible study that I will be able to connect with the young people there and find some friendship there? It seems like since I had my son everyone just disappeared. Oh well.
For now I guess I'm just happy I have you to talk to..

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