Today Was Different.

For the past couple of days I have become so fed up with my son's father. He is becoming so annoying. He stopped texting me for a good month or so but all of a sudden he wants to act like he has interest in his son's life. He keeps telling me that he is coming to see him and always ends up giving a lame excuse explaining why he isn't coming. I could really care less because this is all getting old. I refuse to respond to his text if it doesn't have to do with him asking about my son because I know if I respond he is just going to be immature and be sarcastic and all I have to say to reply to all of his nonsense messages is "Yeah, I'm sure."
Today was nice though. My son had a play date and I got the chance to chat with another mom in the area. My son did have a good time playing and that was nice to see him interact since he really doesn't get to do that a lot. Of course he started to get crouchy though and we had to leave. I hope to do that more, get out and just chat and do something fun for my son.

I read a blog earlier this week of a single mother explaining how she has a hard time seeing her son as her and her son's fathers son because he really doesn't act like a father. The way she phrased it was perfect because the is the same exact way I feel about my situation. I don't think I will ever be able to see my son as being 'our' son. It's been almost 3 months since BD has seen my son and I'm pretty over the issue of him coming around. It's simple to see that he just doesn't care anymore. I can never see having a conversation with BD and saying 'our son' because he does nothing for him.
I got reminded today of how strong I truly am for doing what I'm doing. It isn't easy being a single parent but it is the biggest blessing in the world. It gets rough sometimes to the point where I get so frustrated in thought, thinking it isn't fair that I have to deal with my son's fussiness and his father can go on and enjoy life how ever he wants. But then I remind my self, I also get to enjoy double the hugs, cuddles and kisses. And I wouldn't want it any different.

I am truly blessed to have the life that I have now and I wouldn't go back and change a thing.

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