Just Something Personal

Yes I understand that you live and learn: you have bad relationships you get over them and more one, but when you share something with some one isn't it harder than just any other relationship? I came across a picture today that really just stopped me in my tracks and made me think. Really? It's that easy for you? It said something along the lines of 'get over your child's father; move on; you're wasting your time.' Yeah, I get the point of not dwelling over something that will never happen again or ever being the same. But honestly, there had to be very strong feelings in the relationship that ended up with a child (or again it could of just be a one night stand or whatever, but that's a different story). I'm talking about the long relationship where the two people were 'in love' and couldn't get enough of each other. How can one just simply throw that out of their mind and never think about it again? I can honestly say, not one day goes b

I have the opportunity right in front of me to try and make something out of talking to some one, but it feels wrong. To just hang out with this guy, I feel like I'm abandoning my son. His father is already not there for him, so for me to leave him for just a couple hours to go on a 'date' would feel horrible. I feel like I would be letting him down. With that said I can't imagine ever being with some one because all I want to do and am use to doing is being with my son. And if I'm not with him I'm working. I could never leave him to do something I miss doing in the past. I don't know. I just hope if this is really meant to be that this guy will understand, or any guy will get that I'm a mom first and always will be. My son is my priority and if they really want to make something out of it they will find a way. Because honestly I don't know how to do it myself.

My son isn't some one you come see every couple months to take pictures and videos of and go show all your friends and family. He isn't some one who you can play with for an hour and just up and leave and don't return for months. He isn't some one you can hold for 10 minutes and claim your all babied out. My son is a person, with feelings he will soon be able to understand. He is some one with constant needs and wants. My son is more than just a little human. He is my whole world and he should be yours too. He's a part of you just like he is me. Today showed me how unappreciative some one can be to something that is so big! Your child should be your number one priority and the person you do everything in your life for. I don't like to use the word hate but I can say I strongly dislike the way BD treats his son. Like he's just a 'thing' that he can see, play and talk to for a little while and then go abandon until you feel the need that you HAVE to