Answering With Questions

I am so incredibly blessed to be able to go to work were Christ is all around. Going to work to me is like going to church. I am constantly around Godly women (and two men haha) who love Christ and show it in every situation. These past two days I was a part of the lovely In-Service for mainly the teachers but for all the staff as well. During these past two days we had time of fellowship, time to go over our schools stats and time to learn new ways of teaching and approaching the children as well as their families. 

Today we were able to listen to a devotion from a gentleman by the name of Sean McDowell. He gave a great 'sermon'- I will call it, on how we reach out to our students. It was funny because I am not a teacher, I am simply just an aide but not only was he directing this message to the teachers but also threw in there that this is a way the parents can reach their children as well! This is what I took out of McDowell's message. 

Answering your child's question with a question. Has your child ever asked you an honest question about life and you gave them the honest answer and they seemed maybe disappointed? He talked about noticing the way we answer questions from children. Children may feel judged if they ask a question and our demeanor changes in a negative way. Children tend to shut down if they feel a negative response to their honest question. Rather than give them our answer that 'we know is right', why not answer their question with a question to see how they feel about that subject. 

McDowell gave an example about a question his 9 year old son asked him. His son asked 'Who was Jesus talking to in the garden?' Now, rather than McDowell giving his son the correct answer he responded back, 'Who do you think He was talking to?' By doing this he is opening up a conversation, he is allowing his son's answer and opinion seem relevent and he is allowing his son to have a thought process. If McDowell was to just give his son the answer he was looking for, does that give this 9 year old a sense of individuality or does it just tell him 'This is what my dad says so I believe him.' 

By answering children's questions with questions they don't feel judged. They feel like they can have their own opinion or thought process about things. By answering questions with our 'right answer', it doesn't give the child a option; doesn't give them a sense of self confidence. 

At 9 am this morning I was so ready to just get home to my son and test this out! I was so excited for the simple fact that it's hard to have a conversation with my son and I think I just realized why. I try to open up conversations with a question and then I just correct him if he gives the wrong answer or if he doesn't want to talk about that topic. Listening to McDowell helped me notice that I need to listen to my son's questions and engage a conversation that will get him thinking. And guess what?! That's exactly what happened tonight.

I opened up his Bible and found a verse and wrote it on his whiteboard. He saw what I was doing and immediately asked me, 'What are you doing?' 'What do you think I'm doing?' (Not in a sarcastic way at all :] ) This opened up the conversation. One question led to another and I was able to walk him through a whole new way of looking at The Ten Commandments and he answered so many of my answered back questions that just put the biggest smile on my face! Not only was he learning new things but he was able to have a sense of self and he was able to give him his honest answer on what he thought was right and he didn't feel judged or wrong. I let him have a say. 

By doing this, I'm not letting him take control but I am letting him know that he can talk to me. He can have questions but he can also have opinions on how he looks at things. He's 5 so I don't expect him to know everything about how the world works. But through questions, his eyes will be opened to so much more. 

After these past two days of In-Service, I have learned so much. I have learned new ways to interact with the students in school but also a new way to interact with my son. Every day I step foot into that school, its not just another day of work, its a mission field to the most important people on this planet. That's the children. The next generation.