Why Becoming A (Single)Mother Is The Worse Thing That Has Happened!


Ever since I found out I was going to have a little person I was so delighted! I couldn't of been happier; that is until I found out that I was having a boy! That was the best news during my pregnancy, I was getting the little boy I always wanted! When I had him it was the best day of my life and I loved him so much already! Every day being his Mother is the best. There is nothing in this world that can replace the feeling of being a Mother. I absolutely love being a Mother. Everything about it is amazing! There is no greater feeling in this world than the love and bond a Mother and son have. 
With that said, I have become so attached to my little person! I can not stand being away from him. Ever since we entered each other's worlds I just want to be by his side as much as he does mine. I know this will soon wear off for him but I will always feel he is my little person, even when he is going off to college and eventually gets married and has a family of his own. Whew! That is something I just don't want to think about just yet. For now I just want to experience every moment with him. I don't want to miss one thing. 
I don't have full control over that all the time though. I can not stand being away from him even if that means doing what I have to do to provide for him; to make sure he has the world and more! It is so hard for me to know being his only parent that I need to provide fully for him and he depends on me to take care of him! 
Becoming a Mother has really showed me that it isn't just about loving him and spending time with him, but also sacrificing. I'm not talking about the kind of sacrifices any young adult would have to make, like partying, going out with friends and enjoying a night to myself. I'm talking about time away from my son. That is the hardest sacrifice ever! I need to be away from him so that I was support him. I don't like that we live in a world where love and time can't grow up a child. It's all about money and work. I hate that so much! 
I question all the time and mostly now in this last week of being home with my son; why can't I just be able to experience my son? Why can't I just love him and be with him every moment of his young life? It's what both of us really want/need right now. That is what makes this whole parenting thing the worse! The sacrifices I need to make just so my son can have the future I want him to have. I know its my responsibility and no one else's. All of the responsibility is on me, I just wish I could always be with him. 
I love being a Mom. It's my passion, it is what I'm good at. 
Ask me my best attribute is and I will tell you it's being a Mom. It comes natural to me. It's what I live for. So why must I sacrifice just that?! I wish being a Mom was all about being home. Taking care of the kids, making 3 meals a day and taking our kids outside to play; always doing what they want. Instead, I need to be away from my son, so that he can be provided for.

I am very grateful that I have a job, that I am able to provide for my son because some people don't have the advantage. I am very thankful for all that I have in my life so that I can take care of my son. I just wish it was simple.

Give me the word that means greater than love and that's how I feel about being a Mother. <3 

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